Butterflies: 1. A cute, adorable insect that flutters around making the world seem carefree and pure. I wanted to capture the beauteous butterfly.
2. A fluttering and nauseated sensation felt in the stomach when one is nervous. When he held my hand, it gave me butterflies.
We hear a lot about butterflies when we talk about romance...and not definition number one, although I suppose actual butterflies could make a pretty romantic setting.
"You set my heart aflutter," "You give me butterflies," "You make my heart skip a beat."
You know. Those kinds of cheeseball lines.
We have all felt this way at some point in our lives. We've met someone who made us stutter, who made us giggle like a little school girl, who made it feel like a gremlin had taken up residence in our stomach.
That is what most of us call love or being in love or having a crush--whatever you want to call it.
For the longest time, I believed that I was only meant to be with a guy who I felt that way about. THAT was love and that's what I needed to feel for a guy to have a relationship with them.
But hold on one moment...Let us take a moment to analyze this.
I mean if we REALLY look at what causes those butterflies and stutters it is nervousness. Now that is either coming from your insecurities or the fact that you aren't totally comfortable with that person. And neither of those things are good, obviously.
Now, let's take a look at another form of love--one that we have seen a lot of recently. That love is the unintended/unexpected love.
This comes in different forms. Sometimes it begins with a man and a woman simply having a friendship where both parties are really not looking for anything more (When Harry Met Sally).
Other times, it can even begin with one or both parties not even liking the other one (10 Things I Hate About You). We've seen this umpteen million times in romantic movies over the years--most notably for me is Pride and Prejudice. The reason why we see it so often is that it's interesting. I mean, honestly, who wants to see two people who decide they like each other fall in love calmly and slowly with not complications or excitement? BORING. We like to see the sparks and clashing between two people.
But I digress. The point I am trying to make is that this above kind of love, I believe, is the best kind of love.
Why? Well, you find it when you are least expecting it. You have NO front up. You are completely and utterly yourself. You don't need to try to impress that person because you are not trying to win their affection. You are cool, calm and collected...hopefully--unless you are just inherently awkward and totally not smooth. But most of all, you are candid--and exposed. You show yourself completely, in ways that you would never someone that you were slightly nervous around. That person ends up knowing you inside out, all of your idiosyncrasies and quirky tendencies that you always hid.
I have never experienced this myself, but I just imagine that it is such a wonderful feeling. To have such an open, tolerant, all-encompassing friendship that blossoms into a really beautiful and strong loving bond.
Sometimes this can be right underneath our noses! Most of us are looking so hard for "true love" that we don't see it right in front of our faces.
I'm not saying that some of us don't get swept off our feet by a knight in shining armor. All I'm saying is that sometimes our knight in shining armor ends up being the commoner in the crowd that we never took the time to stop and notice.
2. A fluttering and nauseated sensation felt in the stomach when one is nervous. When he held my hand, it gave me butterflies.
We hear a lot about butterflies when we talk about romance...and not definition number one, although I suppose actual butterflies could make a pretty romantic setting.
"You set my heart aflutter," "You give me butterflies," "You make my heart skip a beat."
You know. Those kinds of cheeseball lines.
We have all felt this way at some point in our lives. We've met someone who made us stutter, who made us giggle like a little school girl, who made it feel like a gremlin had taken up residence in our stomach.
That is what most of us call love or being in love or having a crush--whatever you want to call it.
For the longest time, I believed that I was only meant to be with a guy who I felt that way about. THAT was love and that's what I needed to feel for a guy to have a relationship with them.
But hold on one moment...Let us take a moment to analyze this.
I mean if we REALLY look at what causes those butterflies and stutters it is nervousness. Now that is either coming from your insecurities or the fact that you aren't totally comfortable with that person. And neither of those things are good, obviously.
Now, let's take a look at another form of love--one that we have seen a lot of recently. That love is the unintended/unexpected love.
This comes in different forms. Sometimes it begins with a man and a woman simply having a friendship where both parties are really not looking for anything more (When Harry Met Sally).
Other times, it can even begin with one or both parties not even liking the other one (10 Things I Hate About You). We've seen this umpteen million times in romantic movies over the years--most notably for me is Pride and Prejudice. The reason why we see it so often is that it's interesting. I mean, honestly, who wants to see two people who decide they like each other fall in love calmly and slowly with not complications or excitement? BORING. We like to see the sparks and clashing between two people.
But I digress. The point I am trying to make is that this above kind of love, I believe, is the best kind of love.
Why? Well, you find it when you are least expecting it. You have NO front up. You are completely and utterly yourself. You don't need to try to impress that person because you are not trying to win their affection. You are cool, calm and collected...hopefully--unless you are just inherently awkward and totally not smooth. But most of all, you are candid--and exposed. You show yourself completely, in ways that you would never someone that you were slightly nervous around. That person ends up knowing you inside out, all of your idiosyncrasies and quirky tendencies that you always hid.
I have never experienced this myself, but I just imagine that it is such a wonderful feeling. To have such an open, tolerant, all-encompassing friendship that blossoms into a really beautiful and strong loving bond.
Sometimes this can be right underneath our noses! Most of us are looking so hard for "true love" that we don't see it right in front of our faces.
I'm not saying that some of us don't get swept off our feet by a knight in shining armor. All I'm saying is that sometimes our knight in shining armor ends up being the commoner in the crowd that we never took the time to stop and notice.
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ReplyDeleteDamn it, S. I hope this isn't true (you know why.) Here's the counter argument. Ready?
ReplyDeleteThe butterflies come from the fear we feel of having found someone that is truly our match. Someone that excites us, makes us feel more alive. They come from the fear of being challenged because the person is the kind of challenge that we both need and shy away from. The friendship love is one that lasts longer, perhaps, and is more truthful. But is it too pedestrian to ignite passion for any length of time, let alone a lifetime? Human beings crave drama the way butterflies crave flight-- without it, we feel trapped in boredom's gravity, and who will be able to see our colors then?
Obviously I agree that we shouldn't be with people we constantly have to impress, but someone that makes us happy. My argument is this: is it in human nature to be happy with butterflies?