Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Never Nothing

I know in relationships sometimes people give SO much of themselves, expose their souls so completely and leave themselves so utterly vulnerable. You feel like you have literally given yourself heart and soul to that other person.

Sometimes I think we give and give so much to someone else because of our own insecurities. We don't feel that we are worthy of receiving love, even from ourselves, so we convince ourselves that if someone else takes our love and maybe shows some in return, we are a better person for that. Like that somehow makes us more secure in ourselves.

But what happens if they leave? Not only does it feel like a part of you has died, but that thing that you were defining yourself by, that thing that was making you feel more secure in yourself, is now gone. And you are now left even more alone, more confused and more insecure than ever. It is one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.

I've realized now why it is so important to have a healthy love of yourself. Because when that does occur, you will not only be completely content with being alone, you will also know that you deserve love and will find it again.

This quote by Buddha really struck a chord with me on the subject of self love:

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Siddhartha Gautama Buddha

Sometimes we get so caught up in our fears, problems and whatever else is going on in our lives that we forget to look at ourselves and just acknowledge ourselves. Self love does not mean vanity or conceit. It means taking yourself exactly the way you are--with all your faults, all your quirks, everything.

Only when that happens will someone be able to feel that way about you as well. And when that happens, you will each be each other's something--a most special something, but not each other's everything. Because that is not love.

"Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."
Kahlil Gibran

Make yourself your everything. You deserve it.


  1. Beautifully written and so true. Thanks for sharing with us!!

  2. I LOVE this. You never cease to amaze me :)

  3. Ah, S, you sagacious soul. I completely know what you mean. When you fall in love and out of it, there's definitely a doubt about your own self worth. For me, I think friend-love and family-love can help get back to self-love. Just having someone remind you how wonderful you are.
    By the way, you are wonderful.

  4. Ah, Kahlil <3.
    BTW, this quote is from The Prophet an amazingly beautiful book which should be read at least once by everyone.
    Thanks, babe, for sharing!