Thursday, January 13, 2011


I was going through my VAST amount of sticky notes on my Mac the other day when I came across this one, buried helplessly under my years of poems, lists and senseless ramblings. It was one of the first notes that I ever wrote on my computer, so I was about 15 or 16 when I wrote this. I still remember the day I did it. I was sitting at my table on the fourth floor at Delphi and I was scared about where my life was going...or more where my life wasn't going. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I was going to end up. So I decided to just start writing. I just wrote exactly what came into my head: all my wishes and desires. This is what resulted:

"After I finish Delphi at 18, I will go to fashion school in Paris. While there I will learn to speak French perfectly and some Spanish as well. I will become an expert seamstress and get a part time job at a fashion house where I will employ my remarkable talents.

I will meet the man of my dreams on the streets of Paris. He will be dark and handsome with deep eyes that you want to swim in. He will be clean and have good taste in clothes- not as good as mine, of course, but above average for most men. There will be an instant attraction, almost an uncomfortable one, where neither of us quite knows what it is. He will be strong and confident yet shy at the same time. I, like usual, will remain aloof. I never do the petty sidelong smiles and excessive blinking. No, no. I won't talk to him that day. But we will meet again, and HE will make the first move, either in person or a tantalizing love note that I will not be able to brush aside. He will woo me and we will fall madly in love.

He will be charming and hilarious, although quite different from me. He will be studying or working over there as well. He will surprise me with his incredible wit and intelligence, thus making me fall even more in love with him. He will make me relaxed and calm when I do my usual brooding and worrying. He will kiss my neck and ears until I simply can't help but to unwind. And I will use my acute skill in work and diligence to help keep him in line when called for. We will live together in a quaint little apartment in Paris. We will kiss ridiculous amounts and say, "I love you" more than any normal couple does. But it won't mean what it means now. It will mean what it used to mean. It will be brimming with passion and intensity.

I will finish school in a year or two. Then he will ask me to marry him. But I will say I can't, although I love him with all my heart, because I don't want to be tied down. He will be sad but will understand. In the next couple of years, I will rise spectacularly fast to the head of the fashion house I work for. All the while, my beau will be doing likewise at his vocation. Outside of work, I will take up karate again and continue doing yoga. I will purchase an adorable vintage bike and trek all around the beautiful European countryside, reading all of the books I want to read before I die. I'll ride in beautiful fields in the country. I will go bungie jumping and sky diving and kyaking down remote waterways in France. I will also learn piano again and buy a small old piano for my loft.

After I've gotten my AA in fashion design, I will start on my costume design program. While I am doing this, I will travel to Italy, Scotland, Ireland, Spain and other countries I so desire to see in Europe. After I finish my costume design program I will travel to Butan and live a truly Buddhist life for a month. Before this, I will have studied Buddhism more thoroughly and been practicing it.

I will get my costume design AA by the time I'm 22. Then a tough decision must be made: Stay in France or come to the U.S. again? Ahh even in my dream I can't make up my mind. I think I'll want to stay in France. I'll have a great job by then and I will of course still be madly in love with my beau. We will stay in Paris for another few years. I will have my first child when I'm 28. It will be a little boy and he will have an awesome name like Ryder or Ryley or Sawyer or Mylo. He will have olive skin and beautiful brown hair with my blue eyes (AKA future ladykiller).

In another two years, I will have my baby girl. They will grow up in Paris with us in the new house we move into. It will be out in the country because the city is no place to raise children.

They will learn English first, then French and Spanish. I want them to grow up like I did; being free and outside all the time, letting their imaginations run wild. I will take them on bike rides and walks all around the countryside. We will travel ALL over, because I never got to do that with my parents. My husband (I'll start calling him that even though we're not married) will be unbearably adorable with the kids. They will attend school in France until my son is around five. Then we will move to LA or NY, whichever is easiest for both of us. They will go to school in the U.S. for a few years to make sure their English is perfect. Then once they are old enough, we will of course send them to Delphi."

It was so crazy going back and reading that. Doesn't look like I'm following my plan very well, does it? haha. But it just shows how much plans change, even in a few short years. I still really want to do all the things I talked about there. I just won't be going to school there. But after I finish fashion school here, maybe I will move over there and pick up in the middle of my plan where I find my future husband, get a killer job and settle down. Not too shabby, if you ask moi :]


  1. Oh my sweet baby Jesus, this is fanstastic!!!! I LOVED reading this! Those are fabulous, swoon-worthy dreams and so incredibly you it warms my wee little heart. <3

  2. :D Thank you so much, Kelibaby! :D I'm so glad you liked it!